Choices
by MisoKat
Summary: I feel so empty. So inadequate. I want to see him. Even though he’s so much higher up on the ladder than I am. Even though he’s so untouchable, I want to see him. I fall asleep thinking of him again. LeexGaara. No OC.
1. Chapter 1: Acceptance? Or Rejection?

Lee/Gaara --  
Choices

**Chapter: 1**

When I first saw him. He was terrifying. It was terrifying how beautiful he was. I never admitted this truth to myself. Constantly reassuring my sexuality by staring at Sakura for unbelievably long moments. So long in fact that even my terrible beauty would look over and glare at me. She really isn't as stunning as I once thought. She dulled in comparison to my lovely crush. But I never acknowledged myself. Never tried to fully see his beauty, for I might become lost in it.

What is a youthful soul to do? Trapped between two choices: Acceptance and… And what? Happiness? No. Only if he felt the same strong urge for me as I do for him would I truly be happy. Sadly rejection seemed more reasonable. It hung like a cloud over my beautiful tree; shadowing all rays of sunlight in which I thrive off of. Even if I was accepted by him, our fondness mutual and our love sacred; others aren't at all as… forgiving? So my only other choice would be quiet admiring.

So many sleepless nights spent thinking of him. So many nights spent pondering my options. So many ideas. So many situations. So many choices; I could just forget about him? Pretend I never saw him. I tried. I tried again. And again. But those piercing eyes always cut through my most foggiest of dreams. He was not forgotten easily. He was always scratching the back of my mind. Always gnawing on my brain. My brain always aching to let him back in. It hurt to have him absent for my dreams. I could confront him? Even though he probably doesn't even know my name. Vaguely knowing where he's seen me before; attempting to rake his brain for my name while his filled mine.

I hugged my chest. I've never held anyone in these arms before. They're so empty. I imagine his comforting red hair so close to my nose. His face pressed against my chest. Me his pillar of strength, he my one weakness. Those pitiful eyes suddenly full of hope when he pulls away from our embrace. Those thin lips showing me his first smile in years. All his burdens would fall off his chest when he falls in to my arms. My lips twitched as I smiled and hugged the air. Oh how that gap wants to be desperately filled. My stomach turns and flips as more fantasies enter my head. I uncontrollably roll around on my bed at the thought of anything more then hugging.

At every encounter with him my hart flutters. Just a glimpse of him makes my head spin. Seeing those eyes that have lovingly haunted me in all those dreams makes my strong legs shake. My muscles go weak as I suddenly think of a new scenario. A new fantasy. I'm lost in my own world. Everything surrounding me goes into the background. White noise if you will. And I'm gone. Hours go by like this. I don't even notice as Gai-sensei yells at me to run another five hundred miles for late reaction time.

But now years have passed. I'm now eighteen and proudly wear a shinobi vest over my stunning green jumpsuit. He is now so far away from me all my fantasies are inadequate. He's changed so much that I can barely remember his original face. I try so hard to remember those features that used to make me breathless only to come up with nothing. Nothing. I don't think about anything anymore. If my life were any more revolved around training I think I'd seriously loose it.

I feel so empty. So inadequate. I want to see him. Even though he's so much higher up on the ladder than I am. Even though he's so untouchable, I want to see him. I fall asleep thinking of him again.

* * *

"Oh. My. God." I thought to myself the first day I saw him, "Is that….a green… jumpsuit?" I blinked a few more times. It was still there. And green. And together. I stifled a laugh. I never laugh. I've never even thought of anything other than sad things. But when I saw him. I, for the first time in my short life, had wanted to smile. Wanted to laugh along with my siblings who were sharing my amusement. 

But I didn't then. I continued to look at him. I must've had an odd look on my face, just staring at him in all his unique-ness. I hadn't even noticed him looking at the pink-haired girl for copious amounts of time. She was unremarkable in everyway and figured he was looking at a fly on the wall. Or something else more stunning then the unremarkable girl. For a second, I wished he would look at me. But that passed.

His… Teacher I suppose, walked in later with the same get up. He wasn't nearly as fun to stare at then his pupil though. Those silly wide eyes that seemed to hold the future in them, those orange leg warmers which I doubt had any purpose, that ridiculous hair cut and finally those goofy eyebrows. Why was I suddenly engrossed with those features? Why did I stay awake thinking of them? Why did my mind wander to things that had never concerned me before? Why was I suddenly more lonely than I'd ever been in my life.

Why did I want him to pull me into his arms and never let go? I cursed myself. People weren't needed to function. I would try and forget those oddly stunning features and go about my own business. Even though this proved impossible over many nights. Days. Weeks. Months.

Years. They've passed without a momments notice, my eighteenth birthday so close. My infatuation growing every time we happen to pass. Every mission. Every slight gesture makes my heart beat out of order. I feel my chest go tight and my breath hitch. It hurts to watch him go about ignorant to my longings. Nothing is enough. I need him so close I can breath him in. So close I could die in his arms. Happiness found in the comfort of his embrace. But I'm alone in my room again. Sitting on my lonely bed. Staring at the blank wall.

I feel so empty. So inadequate. I want to see him. Even though I'm higher up on the ladder than he is. Even though he's so unaware of me, I want to see him. I fall asleep thinking of him.

* * *

(**A/N**: Ok. My first _LxG_. I love this pairing even if it is a delicious crack pairing. This story will get interesting. I promise. I'm just wondering on how they should meet. I think I have a good idea. It better not have been done before:D 

P.S. I kinda noticed something while I was writing that the first time they see each other in the Chunin Exams? Maybe that's true? Review please! (: )


	2. Chapter 2: Smile? Or Frown?

Lee/Gaara --  
Choices

**Chapter 2:**

For the first time in about a year I wad given my first S-Rank mission. I was so excited when I was called to Lady Tsunade's office.

"Lee." She started, "I know I haven't given you…" She paused to think of the right word. "Any quests lately." Then gave up. "But I was honestly saving you for a quest that needed your high level of expertise. You will be guarding a Kazekage as he tours Konoha and it's borders. He has created a strong alliance with us even though he's new to office. We're more than grateful to have his village's support so please do treat him with respect and show him we are a great country to ally with. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!" I responded automatically. Then I paused and gave her a puzzled look. "May I ask a question about my mission?" I asked.

"Of course!" Lady Tsunade beamed. "Shizune!" She called violently. Her faithful servant Shizune rushed into the room wearing an apron, shower cap and carrying a bath brush.

"Yes ma'am??" She asked, a frantic look in her eyes. Tsunade gave her a once over and the eyebrow. "I was giving a bath to –"

"Oh, I don't care!" Tsunade said, "Shizune, please answer all of Lee's questions about his mission." Tsunade turned around in her giant chair to seemingly look out of her rather large window.

"But, Tsunade-sama!" Shizune protested, but was answered with a loud snore from the giant chair. Her face dropped and the look in her eyes never ceased.

"Don't worry about it Shizune-san." I said and put up my hands defensively, "I'll just read the paper work." I picked up the stack off the desk and smiled at her. She thanked me over and over and then ran off down the hall. I sighed and stared at the towering stack. This Kazekage had a large file. I looked at the file name. "Gaara of the Sand".

My heart sank down into the pit of my stomach. "Gaara. Of the Sand." I repeated to myself. I let a whoosh of air out of my lungs. My stomach rolled around and went up in to my ribcage. I knew Gaara had become Kazekage and that the Sand village was allied with Konoha, but I never thought he would ever visit. And never in my wildest fantasies thought I would be the one guarding him.

He was due to arrive today around noon. The three day trek from Suna (the Village of Sand) to Konoha would leave him tired. Would he be housed in my quarters? I searched frantically through the document. He was scheduled to stay at a small bed and breakfast next door to my small abode. To be in such close quarters would lead my mind to think that we were staying in practically the same house.

My breathing turned ragged. I was nervous. More nervous than I'd ever been. Ever. I stood still in the center of the Fifth's office. My lips curled into a smile. "I. Will be guarding. Gaara." I giggled to myself. My daydreams of protecting him and being his hero would all come true today.

What if he wanted to see my house. And his guards stayed outside. We would happen to both fall onto the couch after he tripped over his flowing robes. He would pull me down and our lips would lightly touch. The sensation sending tremors of longing down our spines. He would wrap his arms lovingly around my neck and gently pull me down so close to his face I could taste his sweet breath. Then we would kiss. Gentle at first, but as my hands ran up his side he would shiver and pull me down closer. Our lips would crush against one another. Our bodies shifting so my knee would be expertly placed between his slightly spread legs. Our clothes, troublesome barriers between us would be skillfully removed and tossed to the ground. Our lips would part for only a minute as we examined each other's perfectly sculpted bodies. We woul-

"LEE." A voiced yelled at me, breaking my beautifully flawless vision of perfect circumstances. Tsunade sat in her chair staring at me. "Lee, what are you doing standing in my office? It's Eleven-thirty, the Kazekage will be arriving soon. Go and great him!" She forcefully pointed at the door.

I snapped back into reality and nodded obediently to the Fifth and rushed out of the room, leaving the file where I found it.

I made it to the front gate in record time. It was Elven-thirty one when I checked my watch. Being more nervous than I ever was in my life, I religiously checked my watch every minute to make sure time was still moving. One of the gate guards noticed me.

"Hey Lee!" One of them called. I turned to see the one with the bandage over his nose wave at me. I waved backed.

"Hello! Good day to you!" I called back cheerfully. He smiled at me.

"Who are you waiting for?" He said, responding to my greeting.

"A visitor to Konoha. I am supposed to show them around as well as protect them." I said triumphantly.

"Well is it a girl?" The guard joked, "Maybe you could get yourself a chick out of this mission!" He laughed and nudged his other guard friend who just smiled. I blushed.

"I hope." I mumbled to myself smiling. My face turned red and I violently shook my head. "Maybe not today." I responded smiling at the guards. They both returned my harmless smile and went back to "guarding". I stared outside of Konoha. The lush green grass looked so inviting. I just wanted to lye down in it's green coolness and just enjoy the beautiful blue day. Maybe even with a certain more beautiful red head by my side. Holding my hand and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I sighed and lost myself in my own dream realm again.

"Hey!" I heard the familiar voice of the guard yell. I turned to see him giving me a puzzled look.

"Yes?" I asked and returned the same lost look.

"Is that the one you're waiting for?" He asked and pointed into the green forest. I saw a figure who seemed slightly smaller then myself wearing long flowing robes inch closer and closer to where I was surrounded by much taller guards, all wearing the uniform of the Suna shinobi. "Bad luck kid, it doesn't look like you'll be getting a girl today!" I ignored the guards gafawing as they nudged each other and laughed.

I was at lost for words. He had somehow become so much more magnificent than I had remembered him for. My dreams and fantasies gave no justice to the amazing creature standing in front of me. I stared into those eyes that ripped through my every thought and got lost in them. He then did something that made my heart jump into my throat and out of my neck.

He simply asked, "Hello Lee. How are you?" and extended his hand. His face was as cool as it was all those years ago. He had remembered my name. After all those nights of pondering if he even knew me were wasted. But then again, he might have known who had been guarding him before hand? I turned my attention to his extended hand. I stared at his hand. His palm so much paler than mine. His skin so much smoother than mine. I was intimidated by that hand. That perfect hand.

I extended my imperfect palm and met his in a gentle hand shake. "Hello Gaara-sama. I'm very pleased that you came to visit our humble village. Our Hokage-sama extends her gratitude to you for allying with us." I gave him a smile. My business attitude slipping away with every motion of the hand shake. I felt like he was an old friend that was visiting. I didn't even notice his guards whisper something in his perfect ear.

"I'm sorry Lee," he started, "But I was just informed that my accommodations for my stay were sadly null in void for I have missed the check-in time. Is there any way that I may take shelter in your home for my stay?" He gave me a nice look. Not a smile. But a pleased look. Why was he pleased? I was the one whose heart was jumping all over the place, I must looked more pleased than anyone.

"No, your stay would be most welcome in my home." I said, finally letting go of his hand.

"Thank you." He said and turned to his guards and murmured something so low I can only guess it was a top-secret order. "Now, if you please, I am very tired from my trip. Do you mind if I rest for a while?"

"No. Or course not!" I responded happily. Gaara. The Gaara I had dreamed about and fantasized about would be staying in my house. Sleeping in my house. Getting naked in my house. Ok, so maybe he would only be getting naked for a shower or getting changed, but it was still happening. He was in my care for his stay. And I couldn't be happier.

* * *

(**A/N**: Alright, I just wanted to spit out one more chapter before I went to bed. It's 2:36 a.m… I'm. Tired. I really hope that this situation hasn't been done so many times that it's dead. :)

Please review!!)


	3. Chapter 3: Move? Or Stand Still?

Lee/Gaara --  
Choices

**Chapter 3:**

I think back to the sequence of events that lead me and my crush of so many years walking side by side on the calm streets of Konoha; the warm sun kissing our face in pleasant warmth.

Three mornings ago I woke up to another overcast day in Suna. The sand violently rushed back and forth past my window. I sighed a long, drawn out sigh. Another uneventful day of signing papers and talking to villagers in a dark office, in the tallest tower of Suna. Being a Kazekage was a dream. I wanted to help other people, wanted people to rely in me. But some days, I take it all back.

I throw the light quilt aside and attempt to stand up; my legs like ten ton weights drawing me back into the confines of my bed. My feet shuffled themselves to the bathroom. My hands felt around in the shower until I found the knob for water. I pulled it, signaling for the pipes for water and waiting for the cold spray. But nothing came out. My well was dry. Again. I sighed. I was hot. Sticky. And kind of sandy, and I couldn't bathe? I begrudgingly stepped out of the shower and into clean clothes.

"Kazekage-sama!" One of my servants yelled at me with such urgency anyone else would have jumped five feet and become just as frantic as he was. But I just stared at him and continued to put on pants.

"Yes?" I replied; my poker face never slipping.

"The higher-ups have said that we must make a visit to Konoha as soon as possible, to straighten our alliances." He held out a giant stack of files. I took one look at it and motioned for him to put it on the dresser next to my door. He complied and set it down. "Please review those files. One is the current financial situation of Konoha, Konoha's employment and even climate patterns; just incase you needed conversation material with their Hokage." He bowed and went to leave. He stopped just before he closed the door. "One more thing Kazekage-sama." He started and glanced at me for verbal approval.

"Yes?" I replied. I was beginning to be irritated with all this…. Talking.

"Would you like a body guard? The Konoha shinobi are quite skilled and-" I stopped him with a hand. Konoha… Isn't that where my lovely infatuation lives? The man I've thought about even before my own village? I nodded my head.

"Yes, I would like a body guard." I really don't need one, but there's always a chance my lovely green beast would show up and sweep me off my feet. I would get accommodations close to his residency and then conveniently miss check-in. We would spend the whole day together. He would tell me of his life and I would be more than happy to listen to his voice than my own damned guards. I would bring up my lack of shelter for my stay and he would offer his own abode, as any loyal guard would. I would go in first, and take off my shoes as a proper gentleman would. Then when I know his gorgeous eyes were on me I would seductively take off my robes, slightly revealing my own mid section. He would be so taken over by his sudden urge for me he would stutter over his words while asking me for mundane things like tea. I would smile and saunter over to him. I would tease him through his green suit. I would run my hands across his chest and around his back he would be surprised at first but then…

He would reject me. I crawled back into my cave of social isolation. Lee wouldn't feel the same need for me as I do for him. I felt my face drop, but no one else would notice a difference in my facial features. The guard cleared his throat. He was attempting to get leave from me. I sighed.

"You may go." I motioned my hand away. Then stopped. "Wait." I said coolly, "One more thing." He was already half way down the hall when he heard me and rushed back to the door.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" His eyes were uneasy, but his straight posture said, 'Please Gaara-sama, order me around!'

"My body guard should be an expert in taijutsu." I smiled to myself.

"Why?" He asked. I glared at him for not addressing me by name.

"Because," I replied unfazed. "I am I master fighter at distance Ninjutsu, I need a close combat fighter." I smiled inside myself. I'm so good. "We'll leave today once my office work is finished. Please prepare three other guards to accompany me on the three day trip to Konoha."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama!" He bowed respectfully. He must have realized his earlier mistake.

"That is all." I turned away to my bed, where my simple accessories and my robes were sprawled out over. I heard the door gently close and the guard was gone. My shell broke away from me. I broke out into a please expression, not yet in the mood to smile. I felt the butterflies reek havoc in my stomach. I would see my beautiful infatuation in three days, maximum. My legs shook with unease and excitement.

Questions filled my brain: "Would he remember me?", "Would my plans follow through flawlessly?", "Will he love me?"

At the mention of the word love I felt a sting in my heart.

"Love…" I repeated to myself. I sat down on my bed. Love is such a strong word. Just saying it makes my shoulders droop. Such a heavy word. If you declare your love to someone, it's never erased. Such commitment. Such passion in one word. Would he be willing to passionately make that strong commitment to me? Would I be strong enough to carry such a heavy promise?

_Love_? The word rolled off my back and sent a shiver down my spine. I needed to stop thinking about it, but it was always there. _Love. Love. Love. Love_. It looses it's meaning the more I say it. After a while it becomes gibberish. Was it ever an actual word? _Love. Love. Love_…

I attempt to shake off the troublesome verb. I cast it away back into my mental dictionary as "Unknown".

::----::

The guards all assembled ten minutes late, as usual. I was antsy, as usual. When I want to go somewhere, I want to go there now. At that moment. When I want to.

"I'm the damned Kazekage!" I mumbled to myself. "I am god! Would someone show up ten minutes late to escort god? Of course not! But for the Kazekage…"

I mumble-ranted for a long time before the guards started to get impatient with me. I stared out into the desert. Dead. Lifeless. Sand. And extremely boring. I yawned just looking at it. Then I called to my guards and we were off.

When the guards started to get tired I continued to pushed them to their limit. When one fainted I let up and let them rest. We set up camp for the night. I had the tent and the guards had the ground. I looked around at the two sleeping guards, then glanced to the third guard -- who was supposed to watch me when I fell asleep -- dose off. I stared at the fire. It kept me and my dreams company all night.

::----::

We'd been traveling for two days when I first saw the large gate of Konoha come into the distance. The cliff of Hokages were to close I could make out Tsunade's newly crafted head.

"Please, Kazekage-sama." One guard breathed, "Can we rest?" They were all out of breath; gasping and wheezing on the ground. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't even tried yet and I'm carrying a backpack and gourd.

"Fine. We'll rest. We move at dawn." I warned and set down my 'luggage'. The guards fell down with a heave. There was no way they could all be that tired. We're only going forty miles an hour for seven hours! These damned shinobi… My mood passed when I gazed upon Konoha again. I knew I would get my beautiful green beast as a body guard. I just know it.

Later that night sleep had evaded me for too long. I lie awake in my tent and stare at the ceiling. My legs twitched. I had to move, walk, run, anything else than laying down. I stood up and ducked out of my tent. The fire burned brightly, sending orange rays across my guard's faces. I stared lifelessly at the beckoning forest. My feet moved towards the dense brush willingly.

My pale face grazed all the perfectly green leaves. The wet due of early morning made my bare feet wet. The dry earth caked to the soles as I walked through denser woods. Then I heard the familiar sounds of training. The sound of a hard fist on stubborn wood and sounds of persistence and desperation.

"Five thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine…" The voice counted. "Six thousand." The voice happily breathed. Even though rough from hours of draining and lack of rest, the voice was still recognizable. I rushed over to the clearing where it came from. The full moon seemingly glowed brighter over that clear circle. My gorgeous fantasy standing in the center of it.

I blinked. Once Twice. But he was still there. Lee was standing right in front of me. In arms length. My feet suddenly wanted to walk backwards. My head my swirling with "What-if"s and "And-then"s. What if he spotted me? Would he welcome me with open arms? And then profess his undying love for me? What if he didn't see me? And then I would go to Konoha and see he had gotten a significant other over night? I sunk back into the darkness of the forest. It hid me as well as I hoped.

I observed as Lee backed away to look at his handy work. The once full tree was raw. The bark lay in scattered heaps around the clearing, and the top was… gone? Who knows where he punched it off to.

He sat there a long time. His eyes were vast pools of nothingness. He was so unreal to me at this moment. It was like one of my dreams. I attempted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but the defensive sand got in the way. I cursed it.

Lee made a sudden movement of falling to the ground. Was he tired? His knees about his eye level, arms draped across them, his hands attaching his arms together. No. Not tired. He looked... so… so miserable. I wanted to hug him so tight he would never show me this face again. I felt a jab in my heart when I saw something sparkle down his cheek. Then he mumbled something I will never forget.

"Gaara…." Lee breathed, still tired. He pulled in his legs and hid his face. His back shook and spasmed. He was crying? Over me? My breath hitched as I tried to hide my sad excitement. Did this mean he misses me? That he wishes I would come out of the woods and comfort him? I sucked in my breath and attempted to take a step forward.

"LEE!" I golly voice boomed. I sulked back into the darkness which welcomed me with open arms. I saw another silly green jumpsuit come through the brush. It was his idiotic sensei. I never thought he could work that outfit as well as my beauty could. I saw Lee bound to his feet. He hurriedly wiped his face and smiled.

"Yes Gai-sensei?" He obediently answered. Gai smiled.

"Have you been out here all night? You know it's four in the morning?" He responded. Oh. So that's the time.

"I know, but I have to keep training you know." Lee stated triumphantly.

Gai smiled knowingly, "You know Lee, I love training too, but that's all you do these days! Qhat happened to your youthful spirit?" Gai questioned. Lee bowed his head. Gai was suddenly happy again. "But you'll need your strength for later this morning! You're receiving an S-Rank mission!" Gai beamed.

"Really Gai-sensei?? You got me an S-Rank mission?!" Gai nodded. "Oh , Gai-sensei I love you!"

My heart ripped.

Gai bellowed a laugh. "Come my pupil! Let us run back to Konoha four times faster than normal!"

My face fell so far I thought it was gone from my face forever.

"Yes, sensei!!" Lee replied heartily, racing off into the forest, Gai by his side.

_Love_. That word. That horribly, horribly beautiful word that haunts me. That tortures me. Lee had said it so… haphazardly. He thoughtlessly proclaimed the most sacred of feelings on a whim. Maybe he is dearly committed to his teacher, maybe he mumbled "Gai-sensei" earlier. It would make so much more sense than my silly wishes. I felt so stupid. So pathetic. So vulnerable. I had let this man creep his way in to my life and completely take it over. Lee, Lee, Lee. Why do you torture my helpless mind?

After a while of mending my heart back together I headed back to camp, and found myself crying slightly as I fell into a deep sleep.

And woke up late.

I cursed myself and made the guards work faster to pack up camp and truck it to Konoha. Why was I still so excited to see him? My did my legs shake even more on the approaching trees. Every branch that brought me closer to Konoha seemed to be stairs, leading me to a sacred place.

::----::

When we were in close proximity of Konoha when I stopped and began walking coolly. The gate approached ever so slowly with each step. My nerves grew and grew until I felt like I was about to explode.

Then I saw him. In all his perfect glory. My legs almost gave out as his face seemed to light up with excitement.

"What do I do, What do I do?" I thought to myself trying to think on how to introduce myself to my long lasting crush after three years.

I simply asked, "Hello Lee. How are you?" and extended my hand. Yeah Gaara. That's cool.

His face was as gorgeously silly as it was all those years ago. He had a look of satisfaction about him when he glanced down at my hand.

He extended his tan hand, rough from so many hours of hopeful training, and replied, "Hello Gaara-sama. I'm very pleased that you came to visit our humble village. Our Hokage-sama extends her gratitude to you for allying with us." He gave me a smile. My business attitude slipping away with every motion of the hand shake. I felt like he was an old friend that was visiting.

My guards then informed me of my sudden cancellation at the bed and breakfast. Perfect. I then dropped the question, the question that had my soul hanging off of it.

"I'm sorry Lee," I started, "But I was just informed that my accommodations for my stay were sadly null in void for I have missed the check-in time. Is there any way that I may take shelter in your home for my stay?" I gave him the nicest look I could. Not a smile. But a pleased look. I attempted to keep my calm demeanor as he started back up to life. My heart was jumping all over the place, I must looked more pleased than I ever had in my whole life.

"No, your stay would be most welcome in my home." He said, grudgingly letting go of my hand.

"Thank you." I said and turned to my guards and murmured, "Go now. See to it that every inch of Konoha has the Suna's full guarding support. I trust you." They leaped away and it was just me and my beloved. "Now, if you please, I am very tired from my trip. Do you mind if I rest for a while?"

"No. Or course not!" He responded happily. Lee. The Rock Lee I had dreamed about and fantasized about would be allowing me to stay in his house. We would sleep in the same house. Get naked in the same house. Ok, so maybe he would only be getting naked for a shower or getting changed, but it was still happening. All my plans worked out perfectly. And I couldn't be happier.

(**A/N:** OH. MY GOD. Did you ever think that chapter was going to end? I didn't. Almost three thousand words in one sitting! Too much. Jesus. I get so caught up in writing Gaara's point of view… Poor Lee. Ah well. I spit out another chapter only a day later! I'm starting to like my own story! I've noticed though that Gaara's mind seems to jump around a lot when I write it. He just seems like one that doesn't say much but thinks about everything. You know? Anyway:

Please review :D )


	4. Chapter 4: Talk? Or Listen?

Lee/Gaara –

Choices

**Chapter 4:**

I gently wiped the sweat from my palms on my green jumpsuit… again. It wasn't hot, or cold, or even humid. I was nervous. I was so nervous my breakfast crept up my throat just to be swallowed down again and again. It didn't help that while he walked, I watched my beautiful Gaara—wait, MY Gaara? I'm obsessed—shake his hips ever so slyly while he strode down the walkway of Konoha. Everything was unbearably hot and uncomfortable, but Gaara was my cool center in the chaos of my mind. When the depths of my imagination filled with doubt and negative images I'd glance at my red haired beauty and everything was alright.

Then, I totally forgot where I lived. I looked around, and there were unfamiliar houses and streets everywhere. Are we still in Konoha? Am I still walking? My house was about a mile in a direction I didn't know about. The houses blurred and shook in my worried vision. Something wasn't right. And I did not like it one bit.

I turned to my calm companion and he glanced up at me with a neutral expression on his face.

"What is it?" He asked with a slight confusion in his features.

"Oh, oh, nothing, nothing!" I tried to assure him with my broken voice, "Don't be silly we aren't lost!"

"We're lost?"

Crap. I raised my hands defensively and waved them erratically. "No, no! I just got a little turned around. I was spacing out and forgot where I was—" I stopped. That one sentence was the end. What kind of body guard am I? I'm "spacing out" on the job? What kind of excuse was that? My hands dropped to my side and lay limp. My face dropped and I looked at the ground. I wanted to cry. He would be transferred to another bodyguard. He would be so angry at my incompetence that he would never speak to me again. Being a Kazekage he could have me killed! Or just kill me himself. Oh to die by one's unrequited lover! What a perfect end to my perfectly screwed up existence—

He interrupted my thoughts. "Oh. Is that all?" Those velvety words seeped through my sad exterior and melted into my very core. "Well, if that's all, let's try turning around, yes?" His hand motioned behind him and he promptly turned around.

My head sat upright on my shoulders. What? He just brushed it off? He did not notice my obvious ignorance to my surroundings? Is he being forgiving? Or is he just going to drag me into a dark alley so he can kill me quietly for my slacker ways? I follow him. Taking every step carefully and slowly. Observing his every movement and classifying it as "life-threatening". "WAH!" I would think, "That hand motion! What did he tell the guards to do? Assassinate me by chopping my middle in half? And oh! What was that about? Stomping his feet to signal the sand to swim down my throat and choke me?" My senses were on red-alert. I stood still and stopped breathing.

"Bless you, Kazekage-sama." A large guard said and handed him a tissue. Gaara nodded. A sneeze. Gaara had simply sneezed. I continued to walk laughing at my own paranoia. &

I strode up next to him and walked in time with him. He didn't seem to mind. But then again, who knows what Gaara is thinking at any time, but I think he was content. At least he wasn't pissed.

We walked for another hour. We didn't talk, but we did share a comfortable silence and even breathing. I stepped in time to his and we simply strode down the road to my quaint little house on the outskirts of Konoha. My house was in great shape for being passed down through ten generations of the Rock family. It was made entirely out of large logs, just like a cabin, and held together by bricks in between each log. There were four large windows in the front, two on the bottom story, and two on the second. There was a smaller one where the attic was and a door set in between the two large windows at the bottom. It was enclosed by a traditional farm-type fence and a small garden was out front with a rock path leading to the small abode. I smiled in pride at it. I loved my house. When my father told the family that the house would be mine when I turn eighteen I was so proud that I almost danced right there at the family meeting, but I resisted the urge.

Gaara stood motionless at the gate of the fence. I looked in the direction he was. He was staring at the little attic window. He pointed at it and said, "I'd like to stay in there."

I blushed. "Why?"

"It looks perfect." He looked at me, and I at him.

"Well, um, Kazekage-sama, that's my room." I smiled shyly and I could have sworn I saw a red flash across his cheeks before it disappeared as fast as it had come. I smiled wider. "But, if you'd like, I can move my belongings to the living room and then you can comfortably sleep in my room."

"No, no." Gaara said, holding his hand in front of my face, "I couldn't do that."

"It's no problem." I said, smiling. I motioned for him to follow me and I lead him up the rock pathway to my house. My heart was beating fast. His feet were moving a bit too fast. His face was a bit too content. Like everything he had planned had gone off without a hitch. That every move was carefully planned and now those moves have worked in his favor. I continued to stare straight ahead, no matter how those eyes burned the back of my skull. I stared at my front door until it blurred out of my vision.

Once inside, Gaara stood at the doorway and told the large Suna men to stay outside and set up their tent in the yard. They looked more than happy to nestle in right next to my mother's koi pond and Japanese Zen garden. I worried they would break one of her many lanterns or small Buddha statues, but Gaara closed the front door before I could say anything to them. And then we were alone. In my house.

My living room was unextraordinary. There was a large winding staircase in the middle of the room. To the left the walls were red with a white carpet. There's a three-person couch, loveseat, and recliner set in front of a flat screen TV atop a traditional fireplace. There were three standing lamps scattered around the room and a three bookshelves per lamp. To the right of the staircase was the kitchen and dining room area. Pictures of the Rock family were scattered above and next to the large windows which were dressed in large red curtains.

"Well," I said holding back my stutter and sounded calm and collected. "Want me to show you your room?" I motioned to the winding staircase in the middle of the room. The large lacquered steps gleamed in the light of the chandelier directly above us. A red tasseled white carpet lay in the center of each step to keep your footing as you ascend and descend. Gaara glided easily enough up the staircase to be met with a long corridor. There were doors on each end of the hall leading to a study and a large bath. We continued forward to meet the second staircase and he again quickly climbed up. It seemed to me he was eager to see my room. Or rather, his room.

(So in my last chapter, I messed up and put "quests" instead of "missions"… Way too much WoW? Yes. I haven't been keeping up on the Shippuden episodes since volleyball started, but it's over! And maybe more chapters in the progress? Yes?

Please review:D )

_Notes:_

& -- After this sentence I was so close to putting, "AND THEN GAARA WHIPPED AROUND AND CHOPPED LEE IN HALF WITH HIS MIND. END." But. For the sake of the story and the fact Death-fics don't do so well when written in caps, I thought better of it. Aren't you happy I did?


	5. Chapter 5: Be Afraid? Or Be Feared?

Lee/Gaara –

Choices

**Chapter 5:**

The entire "tour" Lee was no short of jumpy. Always twitching and jerking to almost everything that I did; which included sneezing. I never sneeze. The involuntary action was unsettling. Being surrounded by sand almost constantly has made my nose used to irritations and the sand blocks foreign bacteria from aggravating my nose hairs. Gaara of the sand does not sneeze. Lee changes me. Whenever I'm around him, his heart-warming cry in the forest rushes back into my mind. I feel a flutter cascade through my heart and it tenses all the muscles in my torso. It didn't help that the next room scheduled for the tour was his room.

I was excited. Yes. But he seemed rather hesitant. He not only paused before opening the door, he fumbled with the doorknob and tripped over the threshold. It was very cute, but I had to hold back the urge to catch him. Can't come on too strong.

He walked me in and motioned to the many pictures, posters, and memorabilia on his wall. Fighting posters, banners of self-encouragement and strength were spread wildly around the room. He could barely contain his excitement when he pulled down a trophy and shoved it in my face.

"Tai-jutsu Junior Champion!" he beamed. His smile was so bright I had to control a beaming smile of my own. I let out a smirk.

"Junior Champion?" I repeated. His face flushed.

"Well, you see, " he stammered, "Gai-sensei is the reigning champion in the regular Tai-jutsu tournament, and I could never defeat Gai. He's too much of a father towards me."

Oh. Yes. Gai. The Gai whom, in the trees, Lee professed his undying love to. I still don't get the attraction between them. It's too foreign. I would kill my advisor if I had the time of day. But Lee shows such unyielding devotion it makes me sort of sick. What if we were to get together, and that devotion were focused on me. I cringe at the thought. All that unwanted attention. Bleck.

"What's wrong Gaara- I mean, Kazakage-sama?" Lee questions with hopeful eyes.

"Oh." I say, realizing that I must have a nasty expression on my face. "It's nothing." I yawn. "Actually, I am getting rather sleepy. My men and me haven't slept in many days. I covered my mouth for the second yawn. I felt rather rude to have open-mouthed yawned a moment earlier.

"Right!" Lee exclaimed. Then paused and stared at me. "Well, um…" he started, then sighed, "Because this is also my room, would you mind if we shared this room together?" then he stammered and flushed. "Well, you can have the bed of course!" he spit out. He hid his face with a sheet of hair, but I could practically feel the heat rising from his red-hot cheeks. Or were those mine?

"I wouldn't impose on you the notion to sleep in anywhere other then your quarters." I formally began, "And I will accept the generous offer of sleeping in your bed." I managed a half smile. This was all too formal. Too much like an actual bed and breakfast and not a heart-warming reunion with my long lost love. I sighed. He jumped again, still nervous for some reason. I waved my guards out of the room and they immediately obeyed.

"Kazakage-sama. We'll be right outside. Please yell if you need anything." The guards stated their required spiel, but they knew as well as I that I wouldn't need any assistance from them if I were in a fight.

"Yes. I understand." I mechanically responded. I could hear their feet pad down the spiral staircase. It was really just Lee and I. The feelings swirling with in me are so forceful it takes every nerve in my body to hold me back from claiming my well-earned prize. But, I yet again contained myself. Lee brushed passed me and headed towards his bed. He pulled out a second mattress out of the bottom of the western style bed frame. I was impressed by his resourcefulness. A second mattress would be much for comfortable then a sleeping bag.

He walked out into the hall and I heard closet door open, a linen closet. I sat myself down on his bed and made myself comfortable. His bed was neatly made and the comforter was soft to the touch, worn down with years of use. I kicked off my shoes and stripped of my robes. Underneath I was wearing western style boxers and beater. I moved my arms around in their welcomed new range of motion. Those robes hold me back from my full potential most of the time. I find a break in the bed sheet and slither inside of the warm covers. I pull them over my head and take a long, deep breath through my nose. The smell of his shampoo, soap, and natural fragrances wafted through my nostrils. I let the breath out and pulled down the covers.

Lee was there, sheets and an extra blanket in hand, just staring at me. I felt so vulnerable, I pulled the blankets up to my chest, and we just stared at each other. He cleared his throat and walked over to his mattress and began setting up his sleeping space. Not a word was said between either of us. The air grew thick with discomfort. But he soon spoke.

"Anything you need before I turn in?" he asked, looking into my eyes. The sheets were still protectively covering my chest. I relaxed and set them down.

"No," I said, "but, thank you for offering." He smiled at that and my heart shook. That smile could break the coldest frost on my heart.

Lee sat down on his mattress and spun around so his back was facing me. He began to slip off his leg warmers and weights, then his headband. How can he be so comfortable around me? So trusting? But, he continued to get undressed without thinking about me there. He slipped off, his green suit, top first, and then bottoms. His boxers were the last things left on him. I could see his scars clearly. They trickled all along his back and wound up to his chest. My stomach clenched itself. The thought of touching those scars made my blood rush. I was suddenly very excited.

I slipped down off my mattress and onto Lee's. My hands wound around Lee's back and smoothed themselves over his chest. He shivered under my touch and I heard his breath hitch as my warm breath fell across his shoulder. His eyes fluttered closed as my lips caressed his neck. He moaned to my soft touch and leaned into my embrace. His fingers spread themselves through my hair in his show of ecstasy. I smiled into his neck and my teeth lightly grazed the irritated skin there. His eyes shot open and he gasped a beautiful sound. As my face lifted, his body turned so our eyes met each other's at level. The static between our chests so close was enough to drive me insane. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands caressed my waist. I dragged his face towards mine. Our lips were mere inches apart. I could feel his hot uneven breathing on my face. I wanted to say those words in which he exclaims so easily. Those words I've been dying to use and hear. "I—"

I snapped out of it just in time. My hands were already on the brim of my boxers, my yearning growing every minute I'd day dreamed. Lee was turned over, already under the covers. So much for that idea. My growing erection screamed for attention, but Lee was too near, and I had my pride to think about. It would be so easy to just shake him awake, tell him of the scene I had witnessed in the woods, professed my love, then ravish him… but I can't. As easy as it seems, I just can't. It feels as though we've just met and I'm just an imposing stranger. Well, a stranger who happens to be the Kazakage, but a stranger no less. I glance over at Lee. His body rises and falls within perfect intervals. I can hear his soft, deep breathing from my higher post. He's well asleep. Definitely too late now.

Defeated, I turn over, facing away from Lee, and stare at the nightstand. It's a simple wooden nightstand with three drawers and a lamp on top. Along with a lamp are an array of pens and pencils. He must write before he sleeps. I attempt to nod off.

Wait. He writes before sleeping? Like, in a diary? My eyes grow frantic searching for the small book that holds all of his secrets. I'm excited to read all about his love and deception. I spot the second drawer slightly ajar. A small sticker is posted at the top left stating, "Do Not Open". I, of course, have to open it. It lets out a horrible shriek. Definitely a defense mechanism against intruders. I turn to face Lee. He gently rolls over. No sudden jolts of awareness. I reach into the dark drawer, and pull back a green, leather-bound book. There's a lock in the front, denying me access. I smile. I've been picking locks since I was five.

I call my sand to me. It comes in a small swarm and floats above the journal. I send the sand inside the small lock. The sand conforms to the innards, making a makeshift key. The sand turns on my command and the small lock pops open. I flip hurriedly through the pages. He seems to have had this diary since he was born. Small scribbles fill up the first pages, and the drawings improve in quality, as the dates grow older. Finally I get to this year.

"My first day of fall", "The boring B-rank mission", "Horrible Tsunade-sama"… Aha! "My first S-rank mission"! I begin to read:

_My First S-rank mission  
Fall_

_I was given my first S-rank mission today! I'm so excited I can barely stand it! Tsunade said I'd be guarding Gaara. [Here, a heart was drawn in_

_I haven't seen Gaara in years. I still love him as I did back in previous falls, but seeing him again will make my heart explode! Being so high up there, I don't think he'll ever look down and ever consider me… or homosexuality for that matter. I came out of the closet to Gai years ago! No one else mind you, but he accepted me just fine. Poor Gaara would be all alone. Well, if he wanted to confide in me, that'd be fine. [Here a smile face was drawn in. I suppose I could always dream about it. Speaking of dreams, I had the best one last night!_

_I was sleeping in my room, when all of a sudden; Gaara appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me close and we lay there, not saying a word. It was such a great dream that I never wanted to wake up. But, I did. And that's all I can do, dream._

I closed to book and set it back in the drawer. It didn't squeak as I closed it and I'm glad it didn't. Poor Lee, so tormented for liking me. I want to like him back, even love him, but I would never be accepted back to Suna. My own guards would look down on me. People may get hurt.

"Oh, Lee…" I whispered and looked down upon him. "If only you knew…" I leaned down and brushed his hair once, feeling the silky sheen of it. I rolled over, and attempted, yet again, for sleep.

(A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not writing in… forever. I write when I have the inspiration, and when it comes, it comes on strong! Everyone should thank one particular reviewer who bugged me to no end to update, update, update! I wrote this because of them.

Please Review :D)


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